For what it’s worth, I’m sorry MCF & my friends and fellow-worshippers at MCF, for my explosive response to my discovery that, IMO, MCF had essentially been a fraud for 30 years plus more.
When I realised I had been submitting for 20-30 years to
1. An outrageous non-Biblical doctrine of Vic Hall’s creation
2. That my elders had been amongst the craziest in the country
3. That nobody else in my home group or congregation or the MCF leadership would acknowledge this (other than partial, non-restitutional and unaccountable apologies from the perpetrators or Richie, Ray & Keith)
4. That the elders had known from 3 respected men since the 1960s/1970s about Ray Snrs immoral activities
I let my anger be known.
My anger wasn’t initially sin. Neither was my emotion. After all, that leadership had destroyed 20+ years of my life in every facet, leaving me a shell of myself.
But I stupidly wrote emails to 30 (strong) congregation members telling them about it all. And expected them/you all to come to my same realisation instantly.
And then I got even angrier and swore in lots of emails.
I’m sorry for all that.
But I’m not sorry you saw some of the emotion of my realising I had been duped for 20+ years.
That was real and valid.
And it’s been 5 years now!
I still want to hear from anyone that is prepared to admit that the control, non-Biblical teachings, Vic Hall worship, unaccountable retractions, loveless counselling, shunning, codes of silence, partialities and coverups were all wrong.
Please.
I need some tiny hints of validation in THIS lifetime. It can’t all be swept under the carpet and left for the next life.
Your happy little isolated bubble is a big coverup of horrific proportions MCF.
Otherwise what YOU are all doing to me constitutes psychological torture. It does. The pretending it was all ‘my lot’.
Yes you MCF.
Open Letter to Melbourne Christian Fellowship (MCF) 
The saddest part is, unless you tell them they are right and go back (suffer what they decide) they won’t respond or talk or hear.
Sadly it still today in 2021 is still a cult.
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Absolutely Agree with this Rachael.
We may know each other if your an ex MCFite. I remember Paul and all of his family very well. Good people.
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Hey Paul, been a while.
I’m not ashamed of anything I am about to share in my testimony so I’ll start off by stating my name and my experience. I am John. I was adopted into the church in the late 80s by Joe and Pauline. I started to qeustion the church in roughly 2008 and left in 2009. I am a survivor of spirtitual and physical abuse at the hands of my adopted parents. I am not a Christian now, I do not hold any one person responsible for the pain and suffering I personally have experienced rather seeing at a group effort perpetrated by men who are fearful of death and hope by controlling what happens in this life they may have a say what happens in the next
I don’t know how many times i have apologised to MCF in my head and funnily enough my apology ends up looking very much like yours, with some creative uses for swear words mixed in which adds flavour in my opinion.
As we have spoken about in last conversation about exiting MCF, we that left all carry some sort of scarring or PTSD from our experience while in the group and from our experience once exited. My experience has been far worse since I left then it was while I was in. I think it’s because that when I left, I had become so self aware of the abuse that anything done was felt like a scorching iron on the skin. Like You I took a torch to everything that was foundational belief and burnt it in front of my adopted parents. I did exactly the opposite of everything I had been told was right and for a while revelled in the violence, drugs and sex. Anything that made me feel good I did.
Pauline once said to me that she has never met anyone so filled up with Hate before she had me, my retort was that MCF had been a great teacher of anything
Hate.
For years as a youth I watched as my peers were shunned and excommunicated for expressing self identify, exploring sex, not undertaking what was being preached and in turn questioning the establishment. Some of these youths were the Kaa brothers who have now become part of MCF hierarchy. Tamed like cattle they are a part of the lawmakers now. All sense of self squashed.This is because they were chosen ones like you have mentioned in other blogs in the street car forum.
Any sign of a youth becoming independent of the church and it’s beliefs were smothered and through that process I came to believe that I was not a good Christian/not a worthy human. I was the problem. This convincing that I had some impenetrable sin that was never going to be able to cut out led to my exit. I had a meeting with the local elders, Cliff and Trevor who basically tore me a new one because I had gotten into a fight on the way to work and had not stood there and turned the other cheek. I worked in a bad part of Holmesglen, controlled by a gang which ended up being like my family
After I left the home. in part because of my inability to reconcile with my parents and the dislike of my father enforcing MCF law on me when I was out of the home I struggled. This struggling included addiction issues, legal issues, confusion about my sexuality, housing issues etc. My father alway maintained that had I stayed at home i would never had any of those issues. I will never know the answer to that because I made a choice to be free. Free to become enslaved to years of degradation by my own hand, but the better of the two evils.
I was not raised to handle any type of real life problem so I was not equipped to handle them. Life was like riding a bucking bronco with no straps or reins.
My brother has experienced far worse in regards to his excommunication from MCF. He has literally no problem solving skills as he is autistic, was never treated for it and in a sense was held hostage by my parents after I had left the home. Windows nailed shut, locks on the doors sort of deal. He has never opened up really about his feelings throughout this time but has admitted that he was contemplating suicide. He ended up going to jail for a serious crime. He has said to me that he committed it out of desperation to get out of the house, away from the control my parents were exerting over him and had no other way that was easy. Upon his release he attended MCF for a meeting and was humiliated by members for going to jail.
Ultimately I was glad to hear that my brother left the church disillusioned like I did. The god that we read about in the bible and for some time believed in was supposed to be a god of forgiveness yet at no time was any forgiveness available. Only a word of judgment and fear of anything the world.
I sat across the table from my adopted Dad on Christmas Day 2020 and had a very short, closing conversation with him. I knew there was not much left of a relationship at all, this was the first time I’d sat in the same room as Joe in 5 years, first time I’d even let him bring up MCF concepts without exploding at him in over 10. My newborn twins and wife were sitting there, totally unaware of the festy boil that is my dads beliefs.
He had literally just said to me that he never understood why I didn’t want to come under his authority and let him be my father. Immediately he followed up by saying that as the head of the family he had rights and I had none.
My response was that he was my father whenever he managed to seperate the church from day to day life. he was always 2 different people. one was the worker Joe, a good man who taught me the value of a good days work, some of my best memories and mentors were the group who built the new church. Then there was the church dad. The violent abuser using the bible to justify discipline that went over the top. He was a tyrant. in no way did he reflect the principles he was trying to make me live by.
I then used his beliefs against him by reminding him that by gospel there comes a time that each man must give up childish things and stand up as a man. A man takes control and leads. In the exact same concept I was the head of my own family and my father was simply a grandfather at this time. I drew the line between his family and my own. He had his wife, I had mine and he would never guide or lead my own family regardless of how good our relationship. It reminded me of how many years ago as a younger mouthy teenager I had challenged him as to who really ran his house, the church or himself. Who makes the rules. Was he really the boss ? Would he really allow another elder to discipline his son? This happened once at the hands of an elder where I was given a slap across of the face for daring to stand up, look this elder in the eyes with tears streaming down my face and scream at him. This was at approximately 12 years of age. This was one of many violent episodes in my family home under the guidance of the elders that resulted in my banishment.
Looking back I was a troubled child and I needed help. However it was professional medical and mental health that was needed not attempted exorcisms, not the laying on of hands, not 3 hour long counselling sessions with 80 year old men who had no idea of how to talk to a 12 yr old. This was abuse of power, forced conversion therapy that caused me to loathe and hate all of them with a passion.
Reading your blogs has convinced me that it was not at all my fault or my dads, he was himself having the exact same thing happen to him via the elders but unlike me he had lost his will for the fight, did not qeustion for fear of losing his place in the ranks of heaven.
Needless to say as a Man, father of 3 girls and Boy myself, I would never in a million years allow my kids to feel the way that my “church dad” made me feel. My kids have no relationship with their grandparents at all, my twins have only met Joe and Pauline once in their life. My wife and I decided that the minute my parents were a psychological/spiritual danger to our kids we would remove them from any danger. Unfortunately my parents could not help themselves and had a praying in tongues/laying on of hands session over my 9 year old daughter when they were given the chance to babysit for the first time. Even after being instructed that this would be a breach of the trust we were extending to them.
I believe that at some stage my father was talking to the Real god, he was blessed with 2 innocent little boys, who were traumatised from their experiences with their birth mother which lead to their removal from her care. He was given a chance to be a good man and righteous father. This hope was squashed by men with the power trips. Not entirely my fathers fault however one does need to think for themselves when clear boundaries are overstepped repeatedly.
I have changed my name via deed poll as I wanted my father to know that his legacy and memory dies with him. His beliefs die with him. Everything he stood for and attempted to force down my throat dies with him. He is the master of broken home, I am master of none, Eqaul with my wife, no need to make her subdued and subservient to my desires and will as a Head. I was once was shattered due to his choices, judgment and shame. I am strong and able now. His choice to stay in the church rather then be a Dad/man and protect his kids does not affect my own kids even when I have days that my PTSD is triggered and I struggle with experiences.
The pain doesn’t go away but life goes on, happiness is what I choose to make it.
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I think if you truly had fellowship you would understand. I know your not going to let my comment be seen anyways hahaha.
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