I want to convey what it felt like to live in MCF under the BCF word direction during 1992-2016.
It was hell on earth if you actually had any dreams in work or ministry.
So the messenger word of Vic Hall made you feel guilty about having even the slightest ambitions. You actually gradually died inside and began living in the future. Nothing you wanted to do could even be verbalised so you internalised it and hoped that God would open the door in the future.
If you wanted to do something in ministry you knew you couldn’t verbalise it because the elders would instead ban you from it. Because having any desires or plans was ‘naming yourself’.
But it got worse than that. Not only did you have to hope God would open the door but you had to believe that your local ‘guru’ elder would get the same revelation and allow you to do it. And worse again: they would even have to ask you to do it.
So when I wanted to commercialise my tech startup in 1997 not only did they say ‘no’ and delay me changing jobs for 5 years but they delayed my business for 7 years and banned others from backing me.
And the ultimate statement David Bonham made to me: ‘No man can start a business unless an elder asks him to’.
That killed me. My idea and the market were ripe. Not only would there be a delay to maybe never, but I had to get it out of my mind and hope that God would reveal to David Bonham that he should ask me to start it!
Can you see how torturous this was?
It destroyed me.
And I knew it would affect my opportunity to minister in the body of Christ too. That got shut down too.
There was nothing left but to live as a kind of drone. That’s how I lived my 30s. My young life was stolen from me. My craft was stolen from me. My opportunities were stolen from me. My serving of the Lord was stolen from me.
For 7-20 years depending on extent. I finally left MCF has a broken man in 2016 as a 49yo. I had been a young man with a fantastic future, already a high performing 10 year science career and all my dreams then got trampled and robbed. We lost our livelihoods and house and confidence and minds and respect.
I forgive you David Bonham and MCF and BCF.
But I can’t stop warning people whilst you are still doing it to others.